Make Life Happen

It seems that some people are content with simply letting life happen for them.  It is important for us to decide what is going to happen in life for ourselves.  To just exist is not enough, at least for me.  I can't imagine that anyone wants to go along, simply existing. I'll bet you will agree with me that the journey is more fun if we know where we are going and how to get there.

How do we get there?  Well, I believe that we first have to find and identify our dream, our purpose, our goal or goals, and then you will be able to grow into that dream of your life, realizing your maximum potential along the way.  Not only for yourself, but perhaps for others.  It is important to never be fearful to confront adversity or the unknown.  As I have learned over the years, one has nothing to lose and everything to gain from that fear. 

Along the path, I know that we can touch, in a positive and redemptive way, our own lives and even the lives of other people who then may be able to begin to find the power in a dream and their own successful journey in life.

It took me a while to figure this out myself.  But, with every challenge that came my way, each disappointment, negative event or disruption in either my life or for my family, I knew that in order to come out of them successfully, that I had to leave with something learned and something gained.  Oh, and it was important to understand that it did not have to be all good, all the time.  What was important for me was to understand that it was the experience that I needed in my life to make me stronger and able to find the strength and courage to go on to the next life experience along the way.  It was so simple.  I had to resolve myself to the fact that this was only life happening around me.  I needed to embrace it, experience it, learn from it and share it and then move on and as a much stronger me.  No doubt about it, life is great, when you make it happen.

Family Ties

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family" - Anthony Brandt

Not a lot of time today, but you will read why I am making the time to take the time.

Several days ago I began my story with you, "Finding my Father."  I shared the amazing discovery that my father is still part of this earth an my life and that this discovery came with the possibility of a new family.

Time has passed over the last month and ommunication with my new family has been pretty sparse.  There, but infrequent.  I have made it a pact to make time these days to reach out to family, friends and loved ones as much as possible. I will continue to make certain to "check in," on a routine basis in an effort to keep the fire burning and this beautiful discovery going.  What life has taught me, both professionally and personally, is that absence any communication, that silence has a tendency to speak volumes. So, it is important that we all pay attention to a valuable life lesson from time to time and that is to "take time to smell the roses."  Reconnect with ourselves, family, friends and loved ones routinely.  There is no doubt in my mind that it can make a huge difference in someone's life at that moment.

So, my promise to everyone in my "family" and myself to make time to communicate, keep the home fires burning and the miracle opf family alive.

Enjoying The Present...

The ego mind stores excess baggage filled with old movies of the hurtful past.  As we carry these old memories around, the present gets superimposed by all of the old images from the past.  We keep storing these old films because there is a part of our mind that sees value in fear; is attracted to fear; and would make us feel that fear benefits us in some way.  Let us remember that fear is never in the present, but always related to something in the past, often projected onto the present and the future.  When we stop seeing value in fear, we can then let go of our old baggage and experience totality of Love once again.

A Beautiful Night Shared with Friends, Makes for a Beautiful Day

Yes, there are clouds in the sky and the cold has moved in again on Wisconsin and the Midwest, but today is a beautiful day.  Enjoyed a wonderful evening with our friends and neighbors at the Racine Country Club last night.  An amazing treat for us, no doubt about it.  We love Mark and Sarah; they are very good friends, good to us and our adult kids, whom they adore. 

I shared my story of "Finding my Father" with them last night. They were mesmerized and thrilled that my search was over and like me, hope that this is the beginning of something beautiful and amazing. 

As part of the story, some old wounds were opened for me too.  I was finally able to share part of my story growing up with a "bad man" whom I knew to be my father.  Don't get me wrong, I have moved on, but what was so poignant about the moment was being able to finally put the pieces together and share the story of emotional and physical abuse, and yes, some shame, yet feel liberated at the same time.  It was almost, no, it was very cleansing.  I felt close to God for the first time in my life as I shared and smiled with pride that I had survived such a life.  At the same time, I felt blessed that I have such an amazing life and while judged by many, is truly a gift from above no matter how you look at it. 

Mark, Sarah and Steve all agree that this story should be a book and a book that will INSPIRE all who read it.  So, I guess that means I need to get going.  Who knows, maybe one day soon, I can let the stressful life of a COO go and enjoy the peace and yes, my dream of being a writer.  A writer who will lift up the audience, motivate and encourage those who may not be able to understand the "why" in their current situation, as I did mine for so many years.

Today is a day to celebrate Pride here in Wisconsin (the Milwaukee and surrounding areas) and that is exactly what I intend to do, celebrate who I am.

To those who have started to read my Blog and find it compelling and yes, interesting too, get ready for one awesome ride. Because the ride has been awesome, no matter what the road looked like getting here.

Hugs to the world today and special love is sent to my new family and my constant love is always there for the family who got me here today.

Keeping Myself Motivated

"The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it." - Alan Saporta

This week is one of those weeks. There have been some disappointing moments over the past several days in my personal life and some pretty intense moments in my professional life. The good news is that the later kept me motivated and not focused on the disappointing moments in my personal life. Of course I know that we all have them. However, this is one of those moments of "been there done that," but prefer not to be there again scenarios.

Why is is that the passion we pour into one or two aspects of our lives cannot, or is not shared with all of the other aspects of our lives? It can really leave a person to wonder; that person on the receiving end of the opposite side of the spectrum. I hear, "it is what it is..." Well, I venture to tell you that it does not have to be that way. We can share passion in one aspect of life with the others. I believe it makes for a good balance, happy life and assures those in your life that you do matter and that they do make a difference too.

Not sure why communication, let alone good communication, is such a problem for some people, when we all know that it makes all the difference in the world. No matter what the people in our lives; family, friends, lovers, significant others, husbands, wives, children, and the list can go on and on; without insightful communication, whether it be good, bad or indifferent, getting through any tough spots can be next to impossible.

Why is it that we have to decide that it is about who is right or wrong, or point fingers? Is that really necessary when we are in this together? Admit it, there are times that we must fall on our sword and own up that mistakes are made and it is about forgiveness that makes the difference in the end.

Remember that without sharing what is on your mind, especially if there is a concern for history repeating itself, or the new discovery made may not have been wisest of moves for everyone, all that is left on the horizon is speculation.

So, Live, Love and Laugh...and communicate those emotions and the others in between. They motivate me and can make all the difference in the world.I am so happy I have this blog to share my thoughts before I speak my mind. It keeps me motivated and in check too.

Father of the Bride, Continued

So, it has been some time (over a year) since Chenin's wedding, and since I last shared my experience here. I have been a busy man putting my life; past, present and future together.Well, you can see that I was right, she is stunning and made for a beautiful bride. Unless you have taken a walk in my shoes, the entire experience is so hard to sum up or express into words.

What I can share with you in the several days of events leading up to her wedding, were filled with reminiscing, sharing conversation and memories with her and her mother, Linda. So very glad that we are still very good friends. Chenin's siblings were all present and they give her the stage without hesitation.

I enjoyed getting to really know my son-in-law again, along with his family of the Donahue's. They really know how to party. They took the weekend to make it a family reunion too. How very nice for them to have been able to take the time to share time together. We all need to take a note here.

My fondest memory from this wedding was a very interesting experience for me. It was "The Walk" with Chenin. We planned a long walk, as there were two of us to share her walk with and she wanted the long walk with me, so we could share memories, discuss life, happiness and marriage too. I loved these few moments with her and will cherish them forever. While they were only a "few moments," it felt like a lifetime together. During the entire walk; and I am not kidding, Chenin appeared to me as only a little girl. I had to shake my head many times, but it wasn't until the wind caught us just before the arch when her vail blew over her face, when she laughed and then looked up at me and then hugged me (almost being as tall as me), when she became my young lady the new bride.

While many, there was one moment in time that will live in my heart and mind forever was our dance (pictured here). Our song has always been Butterfly Kisses, so appropriately, togther we chose that song as our "Father and Daughter" dance. I assure you that there wasn't a dry eye in the house. This wedding was an incredible moment it time for my awesome daughter, her family and friends. We take comfort knowing how much of a good man Sean is and I know that he will move heaven and earth to love, honor and protect her, always and in all ways.

Finding My Father

Well, it has been quite some time since I last blogged. I have been busy fulfilling dreams and believing in the impossible. Guess what? It has paid off. It is a very long story...but here I go...and get ready for a made for Lifetime movie experience...

Many years ago, before my mother passed away, she told my brother, Jim and I (the only brother I've ever known) that we were adopted and that the man we grew up believing was our father, was never our birth father. I was relieved that I was not related to such a monster of a man. It was almost as if I was relieved at once after being told. There are many other parts to the story, which will make a very good book, perhaps a best seller some day, but she went on in weeks that followed to share additional information with us, such as names being changed (mine), that our real father tried to drown me in a tub, showed my brother how to hit me on the head with a metal can of powder, that he did not want to ever see us, and the list goes on. Later on, I would learn that information was not accurate and I believe that was planned, so that I would not search records. Well, that did not stop me. On and off for 22 years, I have searched records, looking for names that were not accurate, etc., always ending up at a dead end. But, I needed a resolution for myself and my daughter, Chenin, who was married the year before and would someday soon be planning her own family. I thought a family tree was very important to share with her. Fast forward to May 2011, a bright sunny Sunday afternoon. My partner and I were discussing my need to continue this search, the cost, the need to do it for my daughter Chenin, etc. He suggested that I check out Ancenstry.com. He shared his experiences with his use. So, I tried it. I began searching my mother's maiden name and discovered records linked to her name, her current husband and then my real father, Robert Bauth. Those links provided more links to children and other links revealing, to my complete surprise and SHOCK that he was alive and living in Buffalo, New York, my birth place. I sat there in disbelief and out of breath for about 20 minutes. My partner was just as stunned as I was. I did not know what to do or how to do it. I also knew I had to tell my brother, Jim. So, I do what comes naturally to me, I took a calculated risk and reached out to one of Robert's middle son's. I decided that in case my dad was in ill health that reaching out to a half sibling was less damaging. So, I reached out to David Bauth on none other than Facebook. In a very lengthy private message to him, I explained who I was, told him what I knew about Robert (perhaps my father), my mother, Grace and a few other important details (reserved for the best seller). I ended with sharing that I was sorry in advance if this was upsetting in anyway and that I knew I was taking a risk by reaching out, but had nothing else to lose and everything in the world to gain by sending this note. In less than one hour, I received the following excerpt of his response. “Well...wow to say the least...I can't believe this. I will confirm that you are right sir!! Robert E. Bauth is my father... as well as yours and is very much alive and well!!! Hello brother! This is great. There is much to talk about. Our father has mentioned you and Jim to me a long time ago. It was a very sensitive subject as you can imagine…”
I had to be picked up off the floor shortly thereafter. I experienced emotions that I cannot even begin to explain or express again. I would laugh hysterically; cry uncontrollably, I could no sit still. I have not been able to do so since. However, I have been the most productive lately too. My next calls would be to my brother and daughter to share this information. My brother was initially angry and did not want to discuss it; my daughter was stunned, as she believed her grandparents, my parents, were deceased. Initially, my contact with David was daily, via phone, Facebook, e-mail. Then next were the conversations with my father. He was as emotional as I was and could not stay on the initial call very long. Obviously, days and some weeks have passed and there have been other calls and contact which I will share more on this Blog and on an ongoing basis. But, I needed to shout this out today, now that I have my self under more control.