Finding My Father

Well, it has been quite some time since I last blogged. I have been busy fulfilling dreams and believing in the impossible. Guess what? It has paid off. It is a very long story...but here I go...and get ready for a made for Lifetime movie experience...

Many years ago, before my mother passed away, she told my brother, Jim and I (the only brother I've ever known) that we were adopted and that the man we grew up believing was our father, was never our birth father. I was relieved that I was not related to such a monster of a man. It was almost as if I was relieved at once after being told. There are many other parts to the story, which will make a very good book, perhaps a best seller some day, but she went on in weeks that followed to share additional information with us, such as names being changed (mine), that our real father tried to drown me in a tub, showed my brother how to hit me on the head with a metal can of powder, that he did not want to ever see us, and the list goes on. Later on, I would learn that information was not accurate and I believe that was planned, so that I would not search records. Well, that did not stop me. On and off for 22 years, I have searched records, looking for names that were not accurate, etc., always ending up at a dead end. But, I needed a resolution for myself and my daughter, Chenin, who was married the year before and would someday soon be planning her own family. I thought a family tree was very important to share with her. Fast forward to May 2011, a bright sunny Sunday afternoon. My partner and I were discussing my need to continue this search, the cost, the need to do it for my daughter Chenin, etc. He suggested that I check out Ancenstry.com. He shared his experiences with his use. So, I tried it. I began searching my mother's maiden name and discovered records linked to her name, her current husband and then my real father, Robert Bauth. Those links provided more links to children and other links revealing, to my complete surprise and SHOCK that he was alive and living in Buffalo, New York, my birth place. I sat there in disbelief and out of breath for about 20 minutes. My partner was just as stunned as I was. I did not know what to do or how to do it. I also knew I had to tell my brother, Jim. So, I do what comes naturally to me, I took a calculated risk and reached out to one of Robert's middle son's. I decided that in case my dad was in ill health that reaching out to a half sibling was less damaging. So, I reached out to David Bauth on none other than Facebook. In a very lengthy private message to him, I explained who I was, told him what I knew about Robert (perhaps my father), my mother, Grace and a few other important details (reserved for the best seller). I ended with sharing that I was sorry in advance if this was upsetting in anyway and that I knew I was taking a risk by reaching out, but had nothing else to lose and everything in the world to gain by sending this note. In less than one hour, I received the following excerpt of his response. “Well...wow to say the least...I can't believe this. I will confirm that you are right sir!! Robert E. Bauth is my father... as well as yours and is very much alive and well!!! Hello brother! This is great. There is much to talk about. Our father has mentioned you and Jim to me a long time ago. It was a very sensitive subject as you can imagine…”
I had to be picked up off the floor shortly thereafter. I experienced emotions that I cannot even begin to explain or express again. I would laugh hysterically; cry uncontrollably, I could no sit still. I have not been able to do so since. However, I have been the most productive lately too. My next calls would be to my brother and daughter to share this information. My brother was initially angry and did not want to discuss it; my daughter was stunned, as she believed her grandparents, my parents, were deceased. Initially, my contact with David was daily, via phone, Facebook, e-mail. Then next were the conversations with my father. He was as emotional as I was and could not stay on the initial call very long. Obviously, days and some weeks have passed and there have been other calls and contact which I will share more on this Blog and on an ongoing basis. But, I needed to shout this out today, now that I have my self under more control.