Be an Artist and Paint your Life Canvas

                                                   I'm still painting the canvas of my life.  Are you?

 

I'd venture to say that all of us are artists in one form or the other.  Let's face it, with each day that we live and share with our families and friends we are all an artist painting our life's canvas.  Only we understand what the next stroke will be, or who gets to make it.

Creating our canvas is not meant to be difficult and we have all the paint and materials we need with us.  What can be the challenge is making the time to complete the canvas.  Life has a tendency to get in the way some times.  It does for all of us. 

Because I've learned to never say the B word again, "busy," my family and friends will tell you that I refer to myself as "a rat on wheels," that's because there is so much continually going on around me, whether I am directly involved or sharing the moment with another family member or friend.  It's all good for me, as long as that wheel gets to take a break, receives much needed oil and knows where I need to stop in order to get up and make my next paint stroke.

What I love about my canvas is that I can use any color I chose and it can be assymetrical too. It is my own design.  I let others add their touches to it too, that is what makes my life such a beautiful place to be.  I think the key is to know who to allow to touch your life's canvas, or perhaps you want everyone to be a part of that canvas.  I would just offer this.  For anyone who sees life a little more dark that you, allow them to be a part of the design.  But, as I try to do, I would suggest that you are sure to seek out the lighthearted and those loving souls in your life to add just the right touch of highlights.

I would suggest that you paint with passion and always look back on your canvas each day with pride!

Reach for Opportunity in all Situations

There are times when we must go through negative situations. It may be with someone at work, perhaps with a friend or family relationship that may not be fed positively in both directions.  Maybe people say something negative about us, or they show rejection or even resentment against us. In situations like these, it may be difficult to for us to keep a positive attitude or better yet, to keep the relationship moving along in a positive direction, as we may be inclined to react negatively to them. I know that I have learned the hard way that this type of reaction won’t do us any good though; doing so will just make the situation worse. It may result in having these people behave even more negatively to us. I don't know about you, but for me the day would be filled with anger and disappointment and in the end, nobody wins.

So when you find yourself in a situation where it might not be going the way you want it to, or communication seems to be lacking on both ends, take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down. Make sure that you speak in gentle tone to whomever you are involved with (personally or through email) to reduce the tension of the situation.

These a just a couple of some very simple tips can assist us realize that we can find opportunities in all negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”

Be sure to reach for the opportunity. It is the best solution for everyone!

Dare to Dream

Go ahead, make your imagination and dreams come true. 

Let me just say that it has been a long day arduous day at the office and that I wondered how I was going to write in my Blog today and what I would write about to inspire myself let alone others.  I had time to think about it on a short workout and on the train ride home tonight.  So, here goes.

I believe, as I have tried to share with others over this life time, that there is a lot to be said about holding on to what you want in your life and in your dream for yourself and your family.  Yes, dreaming...we all do it.  Admit it, you do too and you have one now while you are reading this Blog. It is part of living for everyone.  I know that there is more than one of you who can do that very well now now.

Let's face it dreaming is like climbing a ladder.  In fact, Thomas Huxley once said that the rung of the ladder was never meant for us to rest our foot upon, but to hold that foot long enough to enable us to put the other foot somewhat higher.  I believe that dreaming is the same concept.  Because if we keep moving forward in the path of our dreams there can really be nothing to stop us from having them become reality.

I agree that there will be obstacles along the way.  However, I believe that they only get in the way when we take our eyes off our goal and vision.  So, don't let fear control your thoughts.  If you want your dreams to come true the first thing you have to do is wake up and let them into your life and find the time and energy to grow into them. 

Do your best to not worry about what was, the what ifs. or even yesterday. Try not to go back and start over, none of us can do that, no matter how much we want to.  But we can do our part to believe in our dreams and write an amazing ending to the wonderful story called life.

Patience is a virtue

I am convinced that patience is a learned trait.  Certainly one I never mastered when I was younger, as I had no one to really show me that "patience is a virtue."

When I wanted something I was convinced that I needed it now.  That was what I learned growing up.  If I did not get it, then I learned that showing frustration and anger would usually result in getting you what you wanted in the short term, but I quickly learned that it was never the solution in the long term.

Once I learned, as an adult, that I was adopted, I spent 22 years searching for any information that I could learn about my father, who he was, what happened to him and how his life was without me and my brother.  Some of you will remember from my previous blog posts that we were told that he had passed on.  Unknowingly, I set out on my search with bad information and an incorrect set of facts.  Those two things will usually doom any search or investigation and really play a trick on your patience, or lack thereof.  Then of course there was the cost of pursuing such an investigation that was quick to doom my search when the well went dry at times.  Can we say "frustrating?" 

Remember, I did not know or learn anything other than impatience and finding a way to get what  I wanted and "right now."  It was during the last 22 years where I learned that I could turn this negative behavior into positive perseverance.  This taught me patience and just in the nick of time, as I had someone watching me; my daughter. I certainly did want her going through her young life as I did and I hoped that she would learn that having patience was very important and key to a experiencing a happy and fulfilled life.

Well, patience won out and I did find the information I wanted about my father, as well as something more; he was very much alive and he himself had held out and prayed for the day that my brother and I would want to know him and let him into our lives.  Obviously, he was under the impression that we chose not to know him either.  So not true!

So, the irony of this blog post today is that whether my dad knows it or not, I must have learned patience and perseverance from being a part of him.  You see, he never gave up either and as he told me yesterday when I called to wish him a very emotional and my first "happy father's day," that he had prayed long and hard over the years for this day to come and it did.

The lesson here; never stop believing in the power of patience and perseverance, no matter what.

Father's Day, Dad 2011!

Happy Father' Day, Dad! 

Life is amazing and it has been an unbelievable ride for me this year.  Last year, as a result of my past, I was left to believe that my father was not in my life to wish a happy father's day. Who knew that this year, as I celebrated an amazing weekend with Chenin and head home to do the same with Steve and his kids, that I would have found out that my dad was in this life and like me prayed for the day that he too would have his first born sons wish him a "Happy Father's Day" too.  Well, fate and perseverance took me to this day in time where I found my father and will be calling him today to thank him for giving me life and wish him a wonderful day.

When I found and sent my very first father's day card to him this year, it was a moment in time like no other.  But, the perfect card found its way into my reading and its way to my father.  I am happy to share that as beautiful as it was for me to send the card to him, it was as equally beautiful for him to receive it.

So, as I had the most incredible father's day with my daughter, Chenin and her husband and look forward to the remainder of the day with my family at home is Wisconsin, I am as excited as a little kid in a candy store to call my dad and wish him a happy father's day, my first ever.

Thank you, destiny and fate for giving me this opportunity to BELIEVE that all good things come to those who wait and that my father was there waiting for me too.

A Father, Savouring the Moments

Yesterday was a great day!  All days are great, no matter what, as there is always a message I can walk away with from each of them that offer solutions for the next one in front of me.

However, yesterday, as I walked down the streets of Portland, Oregon with my daughter, Chenin, we talked, laughed (so very good for the soul) and shared our own memories of how we got to that moment in time.  Whether she realized it or not, I was able to listen to Chenin share moments of her past, our past, our family's past and watch how she smiled because they truly made her very happy.  It was such a good feeling for a father to know that those past moments mattered in her life.  That realization truly put a smile on my face and in my heart.  It was very special to know what even the memory of a song we share meant to her, her life and how accurate it depicted our relationship, our lives, past, present and future.

The day continued with more moments, funny ones, silly ones and serious ones that made the rest of the day shared even more incredible.  We may not have really have done a great deal during of "stuff: during the day, but we sure made some more great personal face time memories along the way. 

This trip was so important for me to see first hand her new life with her husband, Sean and see just how happy she really is in her new surroundings, home, and friends and how passionately her husband loves her.  I got to see, up close and personal, the love and happiness they share,  I cannot even begin to describe what a comfort it was for a father.

What was so incredible about yesterday, was that we can take a simple moments over coffee, or while I watch her work in her new office, get lost in Powell Books and really make each of those moments in time count.

The closeness we share, no matter how far apart we may find ourselves at times, is because of those moments we've shared in our past, the unspoken knowledge that love does conquer all, and that knowing when we get together again, it is like taking up where we left off from our last moment in time together.

I challenge all of you to do your best to do savour the moments that you share and make them special.  Whether it is with the love in your life, your children, families or friends, make them special in ways that only you know how. It does make all the difference in the world and it makes all of the other moments that follow stronger and very exciting.

So, be sure to make today count!  What a wonderful Father's Day weekend for me this year.

Love to all my children!

Love My Children

I am a very fortunate man.  I have an amazing daughter, Chenin, who was born into my life 27 years ago.  We have been a great father and daughter team over the years and  even though she has an amazing husband and life of her own, we still are today.  Also, I am honored to say very good friends too.

Was it always this way?  Not really.  Yes, we have always loved each  other, but when she was young and learning, I had to help her learn that there was more to the basic food groups than Yakasoba noodles.  So, you could say that when she was 8 years old, she did not like me much.  I was the one who had to make her eat more, including her vegetables and also to make sure she understood why it was important to do so.  She eventually got it and I know that when the day comes that she has to help her own children eat correctly, she will remember these moments, and I'll bet she will smile. Oh, there were many more parenting moments over the years too, we all have them, but we love to remember theses fun ones.

Our lives together were not always easy.  I say that because there was a time when we fought to be able to have the time to spend with each other.  What we learned through this process was that sometimes the simple things in life, really are not that simple and sometimes adults can act more like children than the children.  The good news is that as a family we all realized one day that fighting in order to have more time was really not going to get any of us very far and in the end nowhere in the eyes of a child. 

We were fortunate, as I know that there are families out there now, some very near and dear to me, who are having this same struggle now as I write this.  I offer you this.  Never give up, but be respectful of each other's space and reasoning.  Yes, it is not easy, but worth it in the end. If not for yourselves, for the future of our children.  They are innocent and ALWAYS learn from us.  That should say it all.  But, one thing is for sure, our children will never forget that you fought for what was right for them.  That memory will remain a positive constant in their lives.

Now, life has blessed me with more adult children, Meghan and Brian.  Yes, they are my partner's children by blood, but in every sense of the word, I love them and there is no doubt in my mind that I would move heaven and earth to be there for them, as I am for Chenin.  We are a family now and we are here for each other.  Yes, I know and thank God for these blessings.

I love you, Chenin, Meghan and Brian...very much.  I am always here for you.

Dad