Thursday, October 20, 2011

My New Sister...and yes, My New Brothers too.

First, I want to wish our little sister, Kelly a Happy Birthday (on October 25th).

Now, I realize that I have been delinquent with my Blog posts the past nine days, but I have been spending the free time  that I have had getting to know my 'new" brothers and my sister and getting much better at checking in with all of them, including my brother, Jim Bob too.  This has been very important to me lately and I know that it is essential to building on these special relationships.

Why did I choose to write about my sister?  Well, actually I have written various little pieces about my brothers (all of them) and my sister shortly after my first trip to New York and my brother, Jim Bob's wedding in Idaho.  Regardless, before it is all said and done, all of my siblings will get equal blog time, but I chose to write about Kelly because she is my sister, girls come first and I feel as though I have missed so much, including the idea, as well as the possibility of spoiling a little sister.  Now, we have that opportunity and we are willing to get to know each other.  As Kelly and I discussed in our last call, while we can't back the years we have lost, we can make the best of the moments ahead of us.  Needless to say, I have started to make the best of those moments with each of my new brothers and my sister.

From what I have been able to learn over the past several weeks and whether we want to admit it now or not, we really do have a great deal in common.  Since my first visit to New York, I have learned that I share many of the same things with each of my brothers and my sister. From the years we experienced separately, growing up without each other to the present day, we are very similar in so many ways.  Where Kelly is concerned, I have learned that we have some of the same likes and dislikes too. We put our families first, no matter the circumstances or who it may be, we sometimes have trouble saying what is really on our minds and even what is weighing heavy in our hearts.  Don't get me wrong, we end up sharing what is on our mind, whether it be through the support of our mates or if it just takes us to time to process what we are confronted with for a bit.  In my case, I know that can be a very good thing.

What is so amazing about this discovery with my new brothers and sister is that despite our differences, we are all willing to find a way to move forward in learning more about each other.  Because of the way my discovery of my new family started, a relationship with one of my brothers is further along than some of the others. In fact, there are some days, it feels like he has been there with me my entire life.  I am not even going to try to figure that one out.  Nevertheless, with each of my sibling relationships, I am learning about each of them and I believe we are each discovering the next steps with the other.

With my sister, Kelly, I had the most fun and amazing surprise call from her last weekend.  She called me just to talk and to tell me that she wants to know more and explore this new beginning that we have been gifted.  I have to tell you that it really made my day.  No, it made my weekend.  I am very realistic and know that exploring the dynamic of our new relationship, or that of all of my newly discovered siblings, that there will be some give and take and I want them to know that I am ready to give what is necessary to get to the next step.

What is important to say and even let them know is that Jim Bob and I are completely aware that there is already a family dynamic in place.  We do not see ourselves disturbing that dynamic, only adding to it. After having had time on the phone talking with Jim Bob about all of this, we both agree that while our lives have been challenging and sometimes wayward, that we have so much family love and goodness in each of us that we have wanted to share for years and now we have been given that opportunity.  I believe, even with all of her past secrets and lies, that this was a definitely a gift we received from our mom.

So, while there will be more to share very soon about each of my siblings and this new adventure, I am very excited that I have the opportunity to return to New York on November 18th to see my new family.  My hope is to spend a few days with my sister and brothers over "coffee talk" and sharing some of the fun and the nitty-gritty that siblings share about life.

I am grateful for this opportunity and gift and I realize that I am a very lucky man in so many ways, especially for the gift of this new family beginning. 
Now, my next goal is to get to New York together with my brother,Jim Bob to make the family picture complete.

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