Wednesday, June 29, 2011

My First Letter to My Father

June 2011


The first word is amazing to write let alone the words to follow, as I never thought any of what has transpired between us would ever be possible, let alone writing a letter to my “Dad” this Father’s Day.

No one more than me, except for Jimmy (Bobby) could ever understand how overwhelming and unbelievable finding you alive has been. However, I do hope and sense that it has made you as happy as it has made me. I have a sense of peace about me now knowing that the truth has been told and you are near, regardless of the distance between us.

I am grateful to David for being my connection to you and initially felt a bond start between us after I reached out. It told me a lot about the person you are when I found out that you long ago told your family all about Jimmy and me. I believe my heart skipped several beats when I received the note back from David within the same hour of reaching out to him acknowledging that I was your son and his brother.

I truly do not want any of us to dwell on any of the past. We cannot change it or get any of that time back and unfortunately, there were decisions made for us at the time, which set us on separate paths. I have a good life, am successful, have great kids and love is abundant in my life.

I wanted to thank you for sharing the letters, photos and documents with me in your letter. Pieces of the puzzle are coming together for us. Jimmy and I have talked over the course of this discovery and I am very pleased that he has reached out to you and is now happy that I kept strong and did not give up my search.

This has really opened up so many possibilities for my family and hopefully yours too. I know time has been both an enemy and friend. What we do with the time before us now will be the key to our future.

I know that you and Jimmy have been communicating and he told me that he asked you to see if it is possible to have you officiate his wedding. I know that it is a long shot, but truly amazing that we are even discussing it as a possibility. Unfortunately, at the present time, I will be missing this wedding because of work commitments out west. They have been planned for over a year now and tough to get out of. I have been there for him for almost everything else, but will still miss not being there to support him this time. It seems that he really has found a good one this time around. She seems good for him on so many levels. I am so happy to know that his life is good and that he is a good place now and that he has found peace with himself.

I may not attend church every Sunday, but I am a good person, have been a believer for many years. Because so many judge me, sometimes, I find it a bit more difficult for me to keep my faith, but I work through those issues and always come out on the positive side. I have a great life, awesome partner and family who love me, keep me on track and really have shown me what love and family truly means. My faith, my dreams, belief in myself and the strength and support of my family gave me the strength I needed to continue my search for you. I could go on and on about my feelings, but I sense you understand them and have experienced many of them over the years and now too.

Please know that I do love you. While you, Jimmy and I were not together, or that we never knew about you until we were adults, I praise God that you are there and especially that you gave me life. I am very grateful to learn that you fought hard to try to see us, no matter the consequences. That means the world to me to know.

I could see, for the first time, happiness in my mom’s eyes in the photos you provided me. That spoke volumes and did my heart such good. Her sister, Winnie, was so happy to see them too. She told me that she never knew that there was an actual wedding.

There are so many things I want to share with you, learn about you and know that you could help me with. So, I hope I get the opportunity to meet up with you again and soon.

I do know that all good things do come to those who wait.

I send much love, Mark

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