Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Dilemma...

What an incredible day I had yesterday, both professionally and personally. 

I experienced a very good and productive day at work, was able to do my part to get caught up on my association responsibilities and above all, I had another great conversation with my dad. So, why do I have a dilemma? 

Well, my dad, whom I found recently and I have not been reunited with yet, informed me yesterday that he will be heading to Idaho in mid-July with his lovely wife to attend my older brother, Jim's wedding.  I am thrilled for my brother and he knows how much I love him and that I we have been there for each other in the past.  The issue is that I have had this prior commitment for well over a year now to be involved in a meeting in another state (where I am involved with others presenting) the very same weekend of their wedding. 

Now, for those of you who are just coming into the picture; finding my father has been a very recent and amazing discovery I made in early May 2011).  This discovery was the culmination of my 22-year on and off search to map out my really family tree, never even having a clue that I would in fact find my dad alive.  My brother's wedding and my meeting were already previously planned and mine well in advance of my brother's wedding and this amazing discovery. 

Now, our father is very much alive, starting to be a part of our lives via telephone and like us looking forward to finally being reunited. Now, I learn that he will be attending my brother's wedding! Amazing in of itself.  Please don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that all of theses cards came together and just in time for my brother like this; especially at this time in his life, when he has found true love, his own inner peace and then to have our father attend his wedding too.  So, back to my dilemma. 

Do I take a risk to try to work out a quick (less than 24-hour) detour to visit Idaho around my already planned meeting weekend in order to be there for this reunion with my brother (the only one I have known about until now) and our father, or do I let my brother have this amazing moment in time to himself before he is married and have my moment(s) in New York at a later date? 

Part of me initially thought that having a reunion like this might not be fair to my new sister-in-law on her wedding day.  Then, another part of me believes that because a wedding celebrates family and new beginnings, that the timing is more than perfect.

I am stuck with making my decision at the moment for many of my own personal reasons, all of which have merit and purpose.  But, the most important is my own selfish desire to have my own special moment(s) when I am reunited with my father and to share that moment with my family, as my brother will do at his wedding in July. 

So, my heart strings are being tugged and I am I stay or do I go?

No comments:

Post a Comment